After many precious moments, the time is here. You turn 1 today. I’m a little behind on completing your baby book, so I thought I would make a special birthday post for you. I’m a little selfish because this letter is for me too. Years down the road, I can look back at this and remember exactly how I felt on your first birthday. So here goes nothing…
In what seemed like hours, you came into this world and in what seems like seconds, you approached your first birthday. So many mothers out there warned me that this would happen; that time would fly by. I fortunately took their advice to heart and tried to cherish every moment. Oh, my sweet, little girl; the moments that we shared with you. You are so sweet, but yet a total goofball. You started to smile so young and your eyes still shine with so much happiness. Nothing makes me more happy and complete to see this. I want you to always remember that a lot of hard times won’t seem so bad if you continue through life with a smile.
A lot of people laughed when they would see me take so many pictures of you, but there was a secret behind it. Yes, I love photography, but that wasn’t my only motive. Are you ready for the reason? Since it’s impossible to freeze time, I was simply trying to freeze many moments in time. Now, that’s possible.
When I rocked you in my arms, I’d gently whisper in your ears. I’d tell you that you’re such a lucky little girl because you’re loved by so many people. Here’s another secret. We are truly the lucky ones because we get to love you. You changed so many lives the day you were born and I know you’ll continue to do so. For being so little, you hold a lot of power. Piper, you were the final inspiration for me to live my dreams because I want you to always do the same. It was time that I became a role model in that department. You make me want to be a better person and will always be my muse.
It doesn’t matter if people think you are just like me, or just like your dad. I know you are the best parts of both of us and will always be perfect the way you are. Even though I’m sad that you’re growing so fast, I’m so excited for the milestones that are yet to come.
Happy birthday, Piper. Thank you for enriching our loves and making your dad and I the superheroes that we’ve always wanted to be.
You’ll learn that I sometimes go over the top and this time is no different. In honour of your first birthday, I put together a little video to summarize your first year and our best year.
I’ve always tried to be a role model to those who look up to me or just look to me, but I’m starting to question a lot of my common actions. I now have a set of blue eyes studying my every move. Those beautiful, innocent eyes belong to my little girl. My faithful followers know that I’m still very new to the world of motherhood and everything that exists in this world. One of the hardest roles I’ll have to play as a mother is the example I will set for my child. It’s my hope that she’ll look up to me and want to do as I do, because let’s face it, I will be one of her superheroes. As Uncle Ben has taught us all, “with great powers, comes great responsibility”. He was right. As I go through my normal habits, I wonder….what am I teaching my daughter?
When she watches me put on my make-up in the morning, is she learning to always put her best foot forward or is she learning that she isn’t truly beautiful without the right eyeshadow.
When she sees me turn down specific foods and go on certain diets to drop a little extra weight, is she learning to eat healthy or is she learning that she needs to be a certain size to be accepted in this world.
When she catches me trying on many different outfits until I find the right one, is she learning that different clothes are needed for the right occasion or is she learning that she needs the right outfit to actually be somebody.
When she observes my tendency to push hard to succeed, is she learning to be ambitious and fight for what she wants or is she learning that failing is never an option and mistakes can’t happen.
When she witnesses me fight back the tears when something bad happens, is she learning to be strong or is she learning that crying is unacceptable and a sign of weakness.
When she observes me being overly polite and highly conscience of my behaviour around new people, is she learning to make a good impression, or is she learning that people won’t like her for who she is.
I’m really only wondering one thing…
Will my insecurities be passed down to my daughter? I can tell her everyday how beautiful, important and strong she is, but will that hold true in her eyes when those eyes are examining my own little insecurities. This is the time to try harder to put those insecurities behind me. That doesn’t mean that I need to completely change who I am. As you can see, there were some good lessons that my daughter can take from my habits, but I will need to tone it down a little if I want her to learn those lessons. My little angel will struggle to truly love herself if she sees her mommy struggle with the same thing.
As I’m writing this, I realized that the question shouldn’t be what am I teaching my daughter, but what is my daughter teaching me.