Monthly Archives: October 2015

It Happened…

I’ve seen this on TV, and heard about this in the ‘mommy world’, but it finally happened to me.

I just put Piper down for a nap and was getting ready to make my lunch when I noticed something on my arm. After 2 years of motherhood, I finally asked that horrible question out loud, “is it chocolate or poop?”.

Yep, there it was on my arm, a brown gunk of question.  Since I recently changed a Piper Bomb, you’d think that I wouldn’t need to ask that question. Well, if you knew me, you’d know that I just had chocolate too (it’s pretty much a daily thing). 

I’m sure you’re wondering what I did.  Did I just figure it was chocolate and lick it?  ARE YOU NUTS?  No, I didn’t just lick it.  I have the worst luck in the world and was not about to play the poop’n chocolate roulette game.  Besides, the chances of me letting chocolate escape is pretty slim. What I did do is practice this thing called ‘adulting’ and washed it off.  I took it as finally getting the last initiation into the Mommy Club.

To ease everyone’s curiosity of the actual answer…don’t worry, it was totally poop.

My Toddler’s a Monster and it’s my Mother’s Fault!

So…the time has come.  My sweet, loving, little girl has entered the ‘terrible twos’.  I never thought I’d use an old cliche to describe a big moment in my little girl’s life, but there it is.  She may look like a cute and innocent little girl, but don’t let the pigtails fool you.  She can throw down like the best of them, especially when she doesn’t get her 12+ hours of beauty sleep.  Sometimes there has been moments when the first solution that popped in my mind was to book an exorcism, especially when she breaks into her ‘Batman’ voice.  I have to admit that sometimes, I have a monster on my hands and yes, you read the headline correctly, it’s totally my mother’s fault.

Those of you who may know my mother are probably wondering how a wonderful, big-hearted lady could be to blame for my toddler’s terrific tantrums. It’s simple really; she had a monster toddler of her own and one day she did the unthinkable.

I don’t recall the specific date, but a mere 15 years ago, a beautiful, talented girl entered her teen years. (if it wasn’t obvious, I’m talking about myself…but should be obvious) Ok, so I and my mother got into another little argument.  Never able to get in the last word, mom finally succeeded and said the well known words that would initiate THE CURSE.  Just before I could slam my door, she shouted, “When you have a daughter, I hope she’s JUST LIKE YOU!”.  There it was; the curse.  Fast forward to now and here I am, with a daughter who is just like me. Well played, mom. Well played.

I have to say, I’m only surviving the curse because Piper isn’t as monstrous as I was at her age.  My toddler self would have had a lot to teach her and would have won in a tantrum-off any day.  I’m pretty lucky that way as my lovely daughter only turns into her monster self every now and then.  Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure it’s only during a full moon. As much as her banshee screams are usually inappropriate, I have to admit that part of me, where the stubborn, strong-willed toddler still exists, is a little proud.  Why is Piper not as bad as I was?  I’m pretty sure its a result of my level headed mother-in-law never activating the curse on my husband, cancelling out some of the attitude.

Now, when the time comes and I’m having an argument with a 16 year old Piper, will I say those simple words and initiate the curse again? You bet your sweet blog I will!

Monster Toddler