Dear Magpie….

…shut the hell up you jerk!

While you are doing that, you might as well stop crapping all over my cement pad….you rude, rude bird.  I am assuming you didn’t go south with the Canadian Geese because they don’t like you either!!  I am sure you kept squawking in their ears during the very early mornings too.  We could be friends if you could just chirp (squawk) during the afternoons only and stop using my yard as a toilet.  Since I am listing my demands, I wish you would stop being a bully to the Robins and let them eat their food… being that I put it out for them,not you.

I wish I could borrow the ninja squirrel for just one day…you’d get yours!

So you win this time Magpie, you win.


Your new enemy.