I’m Sorry I Pooped in the Tub

Dear Mommy:

I’m sorry I pooped in the tub.

Now that we’re passed the embarrassing and awkward part, I’d like to explain myself. You see, you’re such a good mommy that you made my bath water so warm and soothing. The hint of baby powder scented, bubble bath was a nice touch. I was nice and relaxed….a little too relaxed. Before I knew it, my “insides” were relaxed too! Now, before you judge me, you need to understand that I honestly thought it was just going to be a fart. Come on, we’ve all been there at least once in our lives. Well, to my horror, I saw the dreaded thing float up next to my rubber ducky. Not going to lie, I was totally going to blame the ducky, but I just couldn’t do that to my friend. 

I’m sorry that I touched the poop.  I was just trying to push it back under, in hopes that you wouldn’t see it.  I should have figured out that my plan was an epic failure with you pointing at me, constantly repeating, “You pooped in the tub!”. I’d like to add that you doing this did nothing but grow my shame. You didn’t see me pointing at you during supper repeating, “You burnt my food!”

I’m sorry that I took off running as soon as you got me out of the tub to deal with, well, my code “floater” situation.  While on topic, I’m sorry that I may have peed a little while streaking around the house.  It’s just so much fun and I got a little caught up in the excitement. I’m sure you know what I mean…you did experience college, right?

Finally, I’m sorry I kept hiding and running away on you while you were trying to get me dressed.  In my defense, I really thought we were playing some sort of awesome game. Yes, you did look annoyed, but that’s the same face you have when Daddy plays his games.  How was I to know the difference?

I’m not sure if this will help my case or not, but I had an EPIC night and can’t wait to do it all again. I love hanging out with you, Mommy!

Love,

Piper J.

Pooped in the tub

 

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