New Baby Anxieties!

Since I am due any day now with my first baby a lot of people are asking me if I am excited.  In fact, that is the next question after “how are you feeling?”

If I was honest and had time I would tell these people this…..

At the moment, I am not excited.  I am nervous, anxious and in fact, SCARED AS HELL!  Am I excited to start a new chapter in my life and become a mother; of course I am.  There is just a lot more too it.  I continue to be told that every women will experience child birth uniquely and that it is different for everyone….yeah that doesn’t help me.  I am the type that needs everything planned out and need to have control of a situation.  Do you see where I am going with this?  I hate the unexpected.

Fast forward to after the birth….I am holding our little girl in my arms and she grabs my finger for the first time.  Am I excited? Yes, but at the same time I am SCARED AS HELL!  My husband and I are now are in charge of a little human being…a little life.  Everything we do will influence this little life; good or bad.  This is a lot of weight to carry.  This little girl hasn’t came into the world yet and I have more respect for every mother out there then they’d ever know.  I do have to say that I am happy that the only ones who may feel the need to judge my parenting skills may be the odd friend or family member.  It’s sad to think that there is a percentage of the world who are watching and judging William and Kate raise baby George or even Kim Kardashian with her little one.

At the end of the day, I know my husband and I are blessed and my maternal instincts will kick in when this life changing little girl comes into the world…oh man do I hope so!  I am sure that seeing her smile for the first time or crawl…talk…walk…will make every ounce of worry worth it.

With all this being said……when people continue to ask me if  I am excited, I will smile and say, “yes”.

Sincerely,

A Hormonal Pregnant Women :)

Our little one when I was almost 7 months pregnant :) Gotta Love those chubby cheeks!

Our little one when I was almost 7 months pregnant :) Gotta Love those chubby cheeks!

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