Since I am due any day now with my first baby a lot of people are asking me if I am excited. In fact, that is the next question after “how are you feeling?”
If I was honest and had time I would tell these people this…..
At the moment, I am not excited. I am nervous, anxious and in fact, SCARED AS HELL! Am I excited to start a new chapter in my life and become a mother; of course I am. There is just a lot more too it. I continue to be told that every women will experience child birth uniquely and that it is different for everyone….yeah that doesn’t help me. I am the type that needs everything planned out and need to have control of a situation. Do you see where I am going with this? I hate the unexpected.
Fast forward to after the birth….I am holding our little girl in my arms and she grabs my finger for the first time. Am I excited? Yes, but at the same time I am SCARED AS HELL! My husband and I are now are in charge of a little human being…a little life. Everything we do will influence this little life; good or bad. This is a lot of weight to carry. This little girl hasn’t came into the world yet and I have more respect for every mother out there then they’d ever know. I do have to say that I am happy that the only ones who may feel the need to judge my parenting skills may be the odd friend or family member. It’s sad to think that there is a percentage of the world who are watching and judging William and Kate raise baby George or even Kim Kardashian with her little one.
At the end of the day, I know my husband and I are blessed and my maternal instincts will kick in when this life changing little girl comes into the world…oh man do I hope so! I am sure that seeing her smile for the first time or crawl…talk…walk…will make every ounce of worry worth it.
With all this being said……when people continue to ask me if I am excited, I will smile and say, “yes”.
A Hormonal Pregnant Women