I’ve always tried to be a role model to those who look up to me or just look to me, but I’m starting to question a lot of my common actions. I now have a set of blue eyes studying my every move. Those beautiful, innocent eyes belong to my little girl. My faithful followers know that I’m still very new to the world of motherhood and everything that exists in this world. One of the hardest roles I’ll have to play as a mother is the example I will set for my child. It’s my hope that she’ll look up to me and want to do as I do, because let’s face it, I will be one of her superheroes. As Uncle Ben has taught us all, “with great powers, comes great responsibility”. He was right. As I go through my normal habits, I wonder….what am I teaching my daughter?
When she watches me put on my make-up in the morning, is she learning to always put her best foot forward or is she learning that she isn’t truly beautiful without the right eyeshadow.
When she sees me turn down specific foods and go on certain diets to drop a little extra weight, is she learning to eat healthy or is she learning that she needs to be a certain size to be accepted in this world.
When she catches me trying on many different outfits until I find the right one, is she learning that different clothes are needed for the right occasion or is she learning that she needs the right outfit to actually be somebody.
When she observes my tendency to push hard to succeed, is she learning to be ambitious and fight for what she wants or is she learning that failing is never an option and mistakes can’t happen.
When she witnesses me fight back the tears when something bad happens, is she learning to be strong or is she learning that crying is unacceptable and a sign of weakness.
When she observes me being overly polite and highly conscience of my behaviour around new people, is she learning to make a good impression, or is she learning that people won’t like her for who she is.
I’m really only wondering one thing…
Will my insecurities be passed down to my daughter? I can tell her everyday how beautiful, important and strong she is, but will that hold true in her eyes when those eyes are examining my own little insecurities. This is the time to try harder to put those insecurities behind me. That doesn’t mean that I need to completely change who I am. As you can see, there were some good lessons that my daughter can take from my habits, but I will need to tone it down a little if I want her to learn those lessons. My little angel will struggle to truly love herself if she sees her mommy struggle with the same thing.
As I’m writing this, I realized that the question shouldn’t be what am I teaching my daughter, but what is my daughter teaching me.